


I Will Always Love You

by KittyCatCaitlin



Series: Farewell, Sarah Jane [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Emotions everywhere, farewell Sarah Jane spoilers, im so sorry, no beta we die like men, this hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyCatCaitlin/pseuds/KittyCatCaitlin
Summary: On the day of her funeral, Luke remembers coming out to his mother, and the message that will stick with him forever.
Relationships: Luke Smith & Sarah Jane Smith, Sanjay/Luke Smith
Series: Farewell, Sarah Jane [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712857
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	I Will Always Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Whitney Houston is an icon, don’t @ me.

Luke paced nervously across his bedroom floor, wringing his hands and muttering to himself. Once he had worked up the courage, he made his way downstairs. 

Sarah-Jane was sat on the bench in the garden, reading her book. They had always had important conversations on that. They had sat on that bench when they chose Luke as his name, he would spend hours on that bench chatting and laughing with his friends. He was about to add one more conversation to that bench. 

Luke could see his mum sipping tea as she read, so far no traces of alien energy, the first quiet day they had in a while. He had spoken to Maria the night before, told her it was time he spoke to Sarah-Jane, and she agreed. It was time for everything to be out in the open. He pushed open the kitchen door leading out to the garden, taking a deep breath as he did so, and made his way down the garden path. Luke shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun as he made his way towards his mum. 

“Hey, Luke,” she said warmly, looking up from her book “you coming to join me?” Luke nodded mutely and sat down next to Sarah-Jane on the bench.

“Mum... can we talk?” He asked, staring at his lap. Sarah-Jane closed her book and pushed her glasses on top of her head.

“Is everything ok?” She asked, preparing herself for the worst

“Yes,” Luke replied, almost too quickly “I think so anyway.” He still wouldn’t look at Sarah-Jane.

“So what’s going on?” She had her mum voice on, the voice she used when someone was hurt, or she was dealing with an alien who just needed some help getting home. Luke continued to stare at the floor.

“I don’t want you to be upset or angry, but I need to tell you.” He took a deep breath “Mum... I’m never going to be able to give you the grandkids I know you want. I’m never going to be able to have a traditional wedding. I’m never going to be able to give you that moment of standing with me at the alter while my soon-to-be wife walks up with her dad-“

“Luke!” Sarah-Jane interrupted “What on Earth are you talking about?”

“I’m gay, Mum. I like boys, not girls.” He released the breath he didn’t realise he was holding, refusing to look up until he felt her hand on his. For the first time, he looked Sarah-Jane in the eye. She was smiling. The small but warm smile she perpetually wore was still present. Sarah-Jane held open her arms, inviting Luke to come in closer. He snuggled close, the way he would have done if he had ever experienced little-boyhood, and breathed in her scent. He knew his mother smelled like laundry detergent, vanilla and lavender, which comforted him as he buried his face in her side. Sarah wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair with one hand. “Luke, I know. Call it mother’s intuition or whatever, but I’ve know for a while now. When you weren’t paying attention to girls at the age of 16, I thought that maybe it was something to do with the Bane Mother. Maybe you were wired not to feel romantic attraction? But then I saw you were paying attention to boys, and it clicked.” 

“You knew?” Luke asked, removing his face from its woollen hiding place “You knew and you didn’t say anything?”

“Yes,” Sarah-Jane replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I was waiting for you to tell me yourself, and thank you for telling me. I’m glad you trust me with this. Does anybody else know?”

“Just Maria. I told her not long after they moved.”

“Ok...” Sarah considered carefully for a moment “So, if and when you decide you want to tell Clyde and Rani, you know I’m here, don’t you?”

“Yes, Mum.” Luke replied

“And you know if they don’t accept you for who you are, they’re not really your friends?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“And you know if that happens I’ll set K-9 on them?” Sarah-Jane said sternly. Luke laughed

“Ok, Mum.” She pulled her son in closer, leaning back on the bench as she held him. They stayed like that for a while before Sarah-Jane spoke softly.

“I love you, Luke, and nothing will ever change that. No matter what you do or who you are, I will love you for the rest of your life. Not even the rest of my life, but the rest of your life. Even when I’m gone I’ll still love you, because you’re my son, and that’s what parents do.”

* * *

Luke has often thought about that day, about that conversation, about that bench. Countless other memories had been made in that spot in the garden. It was the spot where he opened his letter from Oxford, it was the spot where he had spent hundreds of evenings stargazing, first with Maria and Clyde, then Rani, and finally adding in Sanjay. It was the spot where Sanjay proposed to him. Luke loosened his tie and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, before sitting heavily on the bench. Sanjay watched his husband silently from the kitchen, keeping an eye on him, but giving him enough space to grieve. Luke pulled his knees up to his chest, not caring if he was going to ruin his suit, and burst into tears. It was the first time he had cried since being informed of his mother’s death, and his whole body was racked with sobs. As soon as Sanjay saw his husband break, he rushed towards him. “Luke, honey, it’s ok, it’s ok to cry. Just let it out.” Sanjay soothed, holding Luke close to him. 

“Sh-She- She still loves me.” Luke sobbed “M-Mum said th-that no matter what,” he choked on his tears “no m-matter what, sh-she would alway l-love me. E-even when she was d-dead, she’d s-still love me.” Sanjay rubbed Luke’s back

“Shhhh it’s ok. She does love you. Of course Sarah Jane loves you, she always will.”

It was at least half an hour before Luke had calmed down enough for Sanjay to drive them home and put Luke to bed. He had exhausted himself from crying, and Sanjay knew he could do with the sleep. It was the first time Luke had slept properly since learning of his mother’s death.

* * *

Just over a year later, Luke and Sanjay were driving home from the hospital, having signed all the paperwork to take home their newborn adopted daughter. “We’ve got a few days to decide on her name,” Luke said softly as they sat at a red light, trying not to wake the baby in the backseat. 

“I don’t think we need that long, my darling.” Sanjay replied.

“Why, what are you thinking of naming her?” Luke asked, glancing towards his husband

“I like Sarah-Jane.” Sanjay said, as if he had made up his mind.

“Are you sure...? She’s your daughter too.” Sanjay laughed lightly

“Luke, your mum was the best woman I know. I want to name our daughter after her. So how about it? Sarah-Jane Smith the Second.” Luke smiled

“Ok. Welcome to the world, Sarah-Jane Smith.” Luke glanced in the rear view mirror at his sleeping daughter, his heart full of love. He knew in that moment that he would love that little girl until the day she died, because that’s what parents do. 

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this at 11pm and posted it at 3am. No I’m not ok about Farewell, Sarah Jane.


End file.
